Man Says Weight Keeps Him From Adoption

Missouri ruling based on his health prevents full parental rights
02:07 PM CDT on Friday, August 24, 2007
By JAMES HOHMANN / The Dallas Morning News

Gary Stocklaufer weighs 501 pounds and thinks he is a good dad.

But a June court ruling in Missouri has prevented him and his wife, Cynthia, from adopting a second child they've been caring for. They say they were told that Mr. Stocklaufer is too overweight to care for the infant, who is from Arlington and is named Max.

Desperate to get the baby, Mr. Stocklaufer accepted an offer from Renaissance Hospital in Oak Cliff to provide gastric bypass surgery for free.

"There's no guarantee I'll be able to get my son back with this surgery, but it's a chance I'm willing to take," he said Thursday at the hospital. He underwent the surgery Friday, and the hospital said it was a success.

Mr. Stocklaufer, 34, said the procedure shouldn't be necessary. He thinks Max's court-appointed attorney discriminated against him because he's overweight. His case is considered a first, but it raises questions about whether obesity is considered in adoption and foster care proceedings.

Being overweight has never kept me from doing anything I wanted to do," he said.

Health is one of several factors that case workers look at when considering whether potential parents are fit to take in a child. Weight does not typically matter, several specialists said, as long as the parents can prove they are in good enough health to care for the child into adulthood.

Kelley Carpenter, spokeswoman for the Missouri court handling the Stocklaufer case, said that adoption decisions are made based on the parents' "educational, financial, marital, medical and psychological status and criminal background check."

She declined to speak about the case specifically but said in an e-mail that determining whether an adoption should be approved is complicated.

JoAnn Cole, the director of Buckner Children and Family Services of North Texas, said that her case workers look at each family and applicant individually.

"We don't have any specific things we check out, but we want to make sure the person is in good health," she said. "Adoption is a long-term commitment, so you want to go into it knowing that the family is able to provide for the child."

Texas Child Protective Services does not discriminate against potential parents on the basis of weight, spokeswoman Marissa Gonzales said. To prove they are in good health, she said, CPS asks parents to get a signed statement from a physician certifying they are "capable of monitoring the needs of their children."

"If they're 400 pounds and they have the health statement, that's fine," she said.

Mr. Stocklaufer, who admits to having high blood pressure, said he got a certified health statement from a doctor.

The National Council for Adoption understands the need to consider a parent's health in placing a child, said spokesman Lee Allen, who has been following Mr. Stocklaufer's case. But he said the Stocklaufers should get custody of Max.

"We seriously question the decision of a judge to deny adoption based on the weight of Mr. Stocklaufer," Mr. Allen said. "It seems the court's decision didn't really put enough emphasis on the well-being of a child."

Going on a diet has helped Mr. Stocklaufer lose more than 60 pounds in three months, he said. He hopes a successful operation would allow him to shed an additional 250 pounds over the next year.

The family's drama has drawn a flurry of media attention. Mr. Stocklaufer plans to appear on the Today show and Good Morning America.

"The one thing I'm really proud of is that he's focusing on the kid," said Charles Earl, his boss. "He could care less about all the hype. He just wants to get the kid in the home."

The Stocklaufers, who have been married 15 years and live in Independence, Mo., insist they went through the gamut of home visits and checks when they adopted their first son, Robert, in November 2000.

The same judge approved that petition without any objection from the child's court-appointed guardian, according to the couple, who both say they're certified foster parents and have passed background checks.

"The state of Missouri has legally kidnapped our child," Mrs. Stocklaufer said.